Turkish Chatter

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  Admin on Wed Aug 03, 2011 6:00 pm

    Hi Hyatim,

    You're right that the WWW is crawling with nutters - and most of them seem to gravitate towards Turkish forums for some reason. However, you can be rest assured that no-one can trace you though this site. Besides, Durban isn't exactly a village is it? Knowing you live in Durban isn't going to be much help to anyone wanting to trace you - and who do you think anyone might go to all that trouble to track you down? I've got a fanny club of fruitbats who know my actual address, telephone number - everything. And they still haven't booked the Dial-A-Ride Bus to come and visit me.... tongue

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  hyatum on Fri Aug 05, 2011 7:27 pm

    Sad


    Last edited by hyatum on Mon Mar 11, 2013 3:15 am; edited 1 time in total
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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  hyatum on Sat Aug 06, 2011 2:43 am

    Sad


    Last edited by hyatum on Mon Mar 11, 2013 3:18 am; edited 1 time in total
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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  ruby on Sat Aug 06, 2011 7:26 am

    Hi Nicky aka Precious lol!

    You second post today, I did wonder if you had consumed one too many malts whilst having your sundowner this evening drunken

    Now we were a little more civilised when we had a braai as we would purchase the meat from the hypermarket, you will be telling me next that you have sacrificed a couple of Timbavati lions bounce Now a giraffe is something the likes of JennyWrites would exagerate about and say that one had been sacrificed in honour of her visit to Turkey Laughing Actually, we will wait to see if she does come out with that little chestnut as she will read this thread and think to herself in her own warped mind 'what a brilliant idea'

    I did attend a wedding in SA once, and at the reception the menu offered 'Roast Ox Rump', the guy I was with said 'looks like we've got roast ox arse'

    All governments throughout the world are corrupt, its no different in SA. They all have unofficial girlfriends/boyfriends, so nothing unusual there.

    With regards to your kids, just give them to the girl afro to look after, she will get that huge sheet out and cart them around on her back, if there are more than two, she will balance one on her head as well as carry a huge container of water and all the shopping.

    I think you mean slip the old bill some rand, a couple of bob sounds far too English. Surprised about the Indian cops getting a bit shirty, would have thought they would have looked at your husband and called him 'bruv'. I take it your Turk is your husband?

    What with animal sacrifice, government corruption and police backhanders, you would certainly feel very much at home in Turkey Smile

    Ruby aka Jewel Laughing

    By the way, enjoy Women's Day next Tuesday, stuff yourself with those freebie chocs but put a little more soda in your Malt drunken

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  Admin on Sat Aug 06, 2011 9:37 pm

    hyatum wrote:Hi Strawbs

    After I received that spam, I would rather just say I come from SA....there are some creepy, totally barking-mad people who should be in straight-jackets trawling the WWW, and I am mindful that anything I post here can become available to lunatics and perverts. I would rather retain some anonymity and my privacy.


    Ciao

    Nicky




    Hi Nicky,

    But you've said in post 77 that you live in KwaZulu-Natal Suspect Which is in Durban. Where you said you don't live..... Suspect

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    Maria

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  Maria on Sat Aug 06, 2011 9:39 pm

    Embarassed

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  hyatum on Sun Aug 07, 2011 3:10 am

    Sad


    Last edited by hyatum on Mon Mar 11, 2013 3:20 am; edited 1 time in total

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  Admin on Sun Aug 07, 2011 5:21 am

    OK, Hyatum,

    I got it the wrong way round (must be due to all my Turkishness - I'm talking back to front!) Durban is in KwaZulu-Natal, then.

    Which has narrowed you down to DURBAN.........

    Work it out... tongue

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  hyatum on Sun Aug 07, 2011 8:28 am

    Hi Strawbs

    Ok, I give up, it's cool just say I come from Durbs lol! ...but it's the same as saying a person living in Stratford is a Londoner! anyway I am so used to foreigners not understanding distance in Africa. Often when I tell people I am from SA they will ask me ...'Oh do you know my friend Jim in Lagos?' scratch ....yeah right I know all the Nigerian drug-dealers and pimps...they are as slimy as the oil they are currently buried in ...except for the writer Ken Saro-Wiwa, he is brilliant! I have even been asked 'Do you know my cousin Beauty in Nairobi'? afro Of course I know all the Maasai, Kikuyu and Boran from Zanzibar to Cairo. farao Have you read the book 'Married to a Maasai'?...OMG these silly European women have romantic notions of marrying dark men and end up living in little hovels that pygmies can't stand up in, and then when they have had a child, endless bouts of dysentry and malaria, and the mother-in-law feeds them cows blood and sour milk they scuttle back home (sans any money they arrived with. Sound familiar?

    By the way what's up with Maria, has she lost her tongue or has she got heat-stroke..it is summer there right now is'nt it and the peeps love to flock to Brighton and lie on those lovely pebbled beaches sunny

    Ciao

    Nicks
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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  hyatum on Sun Aug 07, 2011 9:15 am

    ruby wrote:Hi Nicky aka Precious lol!

    You second post today, I did wonder if you had consumed one too many malts whilst having your sundowner this evening drunken

    Now we were a little more civilised when we had a braai as we would purchase the meat from the hypermarket, you will be telling me next that you have sacrificed a couple of Timbavati lions bounce Now a giraffe is something the likes of JennyWrites would exagerate about and say that one had been sacrificed in honour of her visit to Turkey Laughing Actually, we will wait to see if she does come out with that little chestnut as she will read this thread and think to herself in her own warped mind 'what a brilliant idea'

    I did attend a wedding in SA once, and at the reception the menu offered 'Roast Ox Rump', the guy I was with said 'looks like we've got roast ox arse'

    All governments throughout the world are corrupt, its no different in SA. They all have unofficial girlfriends/boyfriends, so nothing unusual there.

    With regards to your kids, just give them to the girl afro to look after, she will get that huge sheet out and cart them around on her back, if there are more than two, she will balance one on her head as well as carry a huge container of water and all the shopping.

    I think you mean slip the old bill some rand, a couple of bob sounds far too English. Surprised about the Indian cops getting a bit shirty, would have thought they would have looked at your husband and called him 'bruv'. I take it your Turk is your husband?

    What with animal sacrifice, government corruption and police backhanders, you would certainly feel very much at home in Turkey Smile

    Ruby aka Jewel Laughing

    By the way, enjoy Women's Day next Tuesday, stuff yourself with those freebie chocs but put a little more soda in your Malt drunken

    Hi Ruby aka Jewell

    You had me in stitches...

    Anyway to set the record straight...I hope you did not believe a word I wrote as my alter ego...it was all twaddle...straight out of Precious's mouth!! just a bit of wordplay while I was getting all fired up about our useless civil service employees who are always on strike (while we taxpayers work out butts off to pay their wages) Mad Next week another strike of the Municipal Workers Union...they don't just strike, they are spiteful..they strew all the garbage around, refuse to operate the water systems etc. Oh and I don't have a husband, I have a partner and I hate whisky, it reminds me of stale stinky bars and mmm actually the rest was all ficticious...I just felt like writing nonsense on a friday afternoon.

    Ahh the infamous braai, you could never toast a Timbavati lion, did'nt you know they are white and very rare? it would be like cannibalism for us to eat them and I geuss us rarities need to stick together. We both have lost our pigmentation albino

    Packing the kids on the back is called to Baleta..that is why many of the adults have flat noses they get so tightly bound to their mothers backs. But the good news is that it is going out of fashion so our new generation of SA's will grow up with lovely aquiline beaks fitting for a civilized country that is hailed as the 'cradle of mankind'. That is such a sexit term isnt' it? why can't they say humankind, idiots.

    Yes I have to forget my English roots (after all this is the last British outpost) when using speak as Precious ....especiall a 'couple of bob' normally the traffic officers are far more blatant...now actually this is true, I have been offered bribes, they just say 'MEdEm, what can you do for me today'? I always want to say 'FO and go back to your cave' but I would probably end up in Pollsmoor ....so I smile like a camel and pay, I refuse to pay bribes to anyone. Ah that reminds me...why not suggest to JW that she sacrifice a camel on the spit..did'nt the three kings come on camels farao farao farao It could be quite a holy occasion.

    Ah I feel very at home in Turkey, but it's far too tame, perhaps next time I should venture to more East and go irritate a few Kurds.

    Cheers Nicky (Precious says hi..she's busy doing my ironing) afro


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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  ruby on Sun Aug 07, 2011 9:53 am

    Lekker Nicky

    Tell your girl Precious not to pour coffee into the iron, to use water, although I doubt for one second she will listen. That happened to me, the girl poured her cup of coffee into the iron and carried on regardless. Well cannonballs spring to mind, they can even smash them up 'look boss what's happened its broke on its own' lol!

    Yeah right!

    I used to tell the girl not to look at certain items I was bringing back to the UK as sure as God made green apples one look from her and they broke into a 1,000 pieces.

    The Liquor Store was another experience, BTW do they still supply 5th Avenue Blue Duck, sparkling rose wine? I used to love that.

    Of course I know that Timbavati Lions are white, I never saw any in the Kruger but did see some in Joburg Zoo. As rare as rocking horse shit they are.

    MEdEM, yes that brings back some memories lol, usually followed by the request for a few rand.

    So Nicky, where about in the Natal region do you live? No fruitcake is going to travel a 10K mile round trip to come to visit you.

    Catch up with you soon

    Ruby

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  ruby on Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:25 am

    Nicky

    Forgot to mention, your suggestion about JW sacrificing a camel as the three kings travelled on camels would go down like a lead balloon with her I am afraid. You see, JW is more Muslim than the Prophet Muhammed and of course the 3 camels represent the birth of Jesus Christ.

    I would say JW was never considered 'normal' based on the rantings she has made on other sites, but meeting her Turk in the States on an Internet Chat room and being desperate as she is, she latched onto him like a leech. He was in the States on a Students Visa and doing a bit of moonlighting cash in the hand delivering pizzas.

    Well as he is Muslim, she has to follow suit, and she is currently in Turkey minus her 5 year old daughter whom she has basically abandonded as she considers the child 'an inconvenience' to her and Mr Perfect. Now you dont have to be a genius to work out that her Turk is after a Green Card. Anyway, I digress, the camels would not be an appropriate sacrifice as her leanings are now totally islamic. Sad isnt it?

    By the way, I meant 5th Avenue Cold Duck lol! Dont know why I said 'Blue', think its time for bed.

    Good night

    Ruby
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    hyatum

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  hyatum on Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:21 pm

    ruby wrote:Nicky

    Forgot to mention, your suggestion about JW sacrificing a camel as the three kings travelled on camels would go down like a lead balloon with her I am afraid. You see, JW is more Muslim than the Prophet Muhammed and of course the 3 camels represent the birth of Jesus Christ.

    I would say JW was never considered 'normal' based on the rantings she has made on other sites, but meeting her Turk in the States on an Internet Chat room and being desperate as she is, she latched onto him like a leech. He was in the States on a Students Visa and doing a bit of moonlighting cash in the hand delivering pizzas.

    Well as he is Muslim, she has to follow suit, and she is currently in Turkey minus her 5 year old daughter whom she has basically abandonded as she considers the child 'an inconvenience' to her and Mr Perfect. Now you dont have to be a genius to work out that her Turk is after a Green Card. Anyway, I digress, the camels would not be an appropriate sacrifice as her leanings are now totally islamic. Sad isnt it?

    By the way, I meant 5th Avenue Cold Duck lol! Dont know why I said 'Blue', think its time for bed.

    Good night

    Ruby

    Hi Ruby

    I think this is the Mad Hatters Club in which I include myself ? lol! Who wants to be 'normal' and dismal and boring and meet people on the Internet miles away and abandon your family.... I adore my family....we are a big extended 'familie' ..sort of like an elephant herd. We have lots of strong women and piles of naughty boys, and we spend a lot of time together and are very protective of each other. Oh I live near Sheffield..named after the English Sheffield Forest, except that we don't have conifers..it is coastal forest.

    I think you are quite the Inspector Clouseau...which gave me the idea to check on my precious Precious! She has been smuggling wine in the iron!! Actually I think in this cold weather she has been making gluwein, my clothes smell of cloves....when I went to church this morning, the Padre was all over me and instead of giving ME the communion he seemed intent on embracing me in his robes. drunken drunken Ah well better to attack me than go after little boys. I really think Precious is getting very cheeky, she said to me 'MEdEm, you have an IPad, an IPhone, an ITablet.....and I only have an IRon'...I think I should get Strawbs to give her a talking to.

    Talking of which, it is no secret that South AFricans are know to be a light fingered lot. We even had a cabinet minister with a penchant for pocketing the cutlery at royal banquets. I don't know what he did with them, perhaps he is like a raven and just collects things. I am sure somewhere he has a stash of hotel soaps, dressing-gowns and shower caps. He probably dresses in drag for his wife.

    Actually Our President loves to shower. He slept with an HIV woman (not his 1,2,3,4,5 wife) and said he used no protection because he showered afterwards.....he says if you shower after intercourse having used no protection then you are 'safe'...so now all his followers do just that now our very educated (he passed grade 6) President, Bless his Soul, is always drawn in cartoons with a shower sticking out of his head. Better to be a dick-head.

    Oh, I see there has been some heated debate about circumcision on this site! Well some of the latest research in AFrica indicates that circumcision can be one of the most effective ways to reduce HIV. Well I am not going into the debate but all the poor young ones have been trotted out to have the chop and MP's here warned this week that underpaid nurses could be nicking discarded foreskins from hospital cans - up to 2.3 million of them every year. Apparently the pharmaceutical industry pays good money for the little morsels, which can be used n the production of anti-wrinkle cream. So next time you look in the mirror and see your lovely skin plumping out, just check where the ingredients come from!

    Ok am in a rush, I am actually working this weekend and on Woman's Day, will be away on an assignment, so have a great week!


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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  ruby on Mon Aug 08, 2011 6:29 am

    Hi Nicky

    Well today I have been so busy doing family things, the traditional Sunday lunch, very boring, the weather has behaved like a monkey's wedding, so a braai has been out of the question.

    Your Precious sounds a typical girl to me, you simply cannot teach them new tricks, so dont bother wasting your time and effort. She is very cheeky too, you mean to tell me she owns her OWN IRON Evil or Very Mad She must come from a very well to do shanty town Very Happy At least my girl only put coffee into the iron, but that was enough for me to have to throw it out, no guesses who went through the garbage to retrieve it Question I would insist your girl does double duties for being so insubordinate, but by the time you have explained that to her, you will need to send her out for throat lozenges silent Next time I would threaten her with a visit from a tokoloshe, she will certainly listen then, be all ears in fact rather like those of Dumbo elephant

    Your President sounds a right numpty and typical of South African black man's logic, take a shower and you wont catch HIV. So he actually got a Grade 6 was that in his matric year? Very Happy

    Now I have a theory about circumcised foreskins, you reacon that they end up in the production of anti wrinkle cream, well I fully believe that they end up as Doner Kebab on the Rotisserie which is then carved up and placed in pitta bread and served with salad and mayo Wink , therefore both of our theories are correct as they both end up filling your face lol!

    Speak to you soon Nicks

    Ruby
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    sophia08

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  sophia08 on Mon Aug 08, 2011 8:25 am

    Hi everyone im new here so just thought i would say a quick hello.

    Admin
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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  Admin on Mon Aug 08, 2011 8:52 am

    Hi Sophia,

    Welcome to the site!

    What's your connection to Turkey?

    Strawbs
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    susan

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  susan on Mon Aug 08, 2011 10:15 am

    Hi,
    Im Susan,I was married to a turk for many years and belonged to a couple of the old sites a good few years back. Just thought a catch up could be fun

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  Admin on Mon Aug 08, 2011 8:07 pm

    Hi Susan,

    We look forward to your contributions...

    Strawbs
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    Turkishheartdrop

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  Turkishheartdrop on Mon Aug 08, 2011 10:14 pm

    Welcome Susan...........what name did you go under before? We might know each other..............
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    Philllipa

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  Philllipa on Fri Aug 12, 2011 3:52 am

    Been reading this site since it began and only joined today Smile I live in Turkey at the moment so any questions fire away.

    Pipxoxo

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  Admin on Fri Aug 12, 2011 5:43 pm

    Hi Phillipa,

    Welcome to the site! Whereabouts in Turkey do you live?

    Strawbs
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    Pollypecker

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  Pollypecker on Sat Aug 13, 2011 12:19 am

    Watch Pip, glad you found us Very Happy

    Pol
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    sophia08

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  sophia08 on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:21 am

    Hi Strawbs,i have not really got much connection at all to Turkey, and after reading the posts on this site i cant really see any connection here either.
    Just a quick question out of curiosity,are you and Ruby related in any way?
    Sophia.

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  Admin on Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:45 am

    Sophia,

    Well if you've got no connection to Turkey - and you can't see the Turkish connection on this site - why have you mentioned Turkey, eh?

    You don't sound like a Sophia to me - you sound more like a Lindsaaaaye......chalk and cheese those names.......
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    Maria

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    Re: Member Introductions

    Post  Maria on Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:24 pm

    Erm why did you join a site called Turkish chatter if you no connection? Do you do that a lot?

    Maria

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