New Member DAVINA 'S Post (Moved from Members Introductions)

Post davina on Mon 26 Sep 2011 - 13:32
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Hi

This is my first time here and I'd like some opinions. My Turk boyfriend/fiance finally broke up with me for good. Well at least I'm thinking this time it's for good. We always get back together because he will convince me that he will change. I'm having a hard time with the breakup because I finally realised that this relationship was toxic. I love him and will probably still love him for a while because we were together for over 3 years. I was even in a long distance relationship with him for more than a year. I figured if he was the one then one year of a LDR would be worth it but now I just feel cheated as I waited for him for so long and when we got together he wasn't the same person he seemed online. I moved out to Turkey to live with him but he moved away from me because of a personal reason that would require his attention more than he could living with me. I completely understood and supported his decision to move but I didn't think it would be forever. I thought just a few weeks. I was so lonely and started feeling like I wasn't so important to him anymore. He told me that he would have to stay for a year or so with his family in east Turkey and I still waited. I came back to England and then went back to Turkey after nine months. When he came back to move in with me in my apartment I'd rented he was with me for a week and then broke up with me. He left and then came back a couple of weeks later saying he needed me but the distance had made things different and that I had changed. I didn't change. He did. I just kept busy to keep my mind off him being away but when he got back he would say that I don't make time for him and he would pick fights and go off with his friends. Then one night he said he was coming home in 30 minutes and he came back four hours later. I snooped through his emails to find out he was talking to someone else. So then I broke up with him this time around. Why would he hurt me so much when all this time I was waiting for him? He's calling me begging for another chance but I can't do this anymore. I love him so much but he basically blamed me for him cheating on me. He left me and moved away but yet he would say I didn't find time for him. I realise this is his way of trying to move the blame off of him. He does that alot so I know that eventually I'll have another issue with him. He's full of manipulative moves and I need to end it for good. I want to stop communication with him but I can't because he won't give up. He says he doesn't wanna lose me. How do I deal with this? I love him and really want him back but I know he's no good. I'm not sure how to get over him Sad

Hi Davina,

As you can see I've moved your post for you - it gets 'lost' on the Member Introductions board. I'm sure you'll get lots of advice, and I'll come back with some, too, later on.

Take care.

Strawbs

Ah Davina this is an old trick they pull, blaming you for them cheating
He sounds like hes not worth even thinking about Davina,he left you for a year and that sounds fishy to me,I bet hes got a wife back home. I would give him the elbow,hes wasting your time and making you sad,if he loves you he would be with you and would not go off with his mates clubbing leaving you at home, has he asked you for money? Get rid hun,hes no good to anyone and sounds like he cant be bovvered to even see you when he can.
You delete his numbers and ignore him,best way forward he will soon take the hint.He is toxic and you dont need him.

Pipxoxo

Hi Davina if I had a pound for every time I heard this I would be loaded.........he sounds a rat to a t....why you hanging in there he isnt giving you anything...just grief...wake up and smell the coffee..........

Hi

I hear what you say but I have feelings for him. It's not easy for me to cut him out my heart. I can't turn my feeling off like a tap.I wish it was that easy to make a complete break but then he comes back and manipulates me and I find it hard to turn him away.I do tell him it's over but he gets round me he knows which buttons to push.What confuses me is all the mixed messages he gives me. One minute he tells me it's over and then he tells me he wants me back and I will never be free of him. We have been together a long time and ridden some storms together so I do think to myself if I should give it one more go. Then I think what if he does it to me again :-(

I cant work you out Davina, you said hes toxic and bad for you but you want to give him another chance? I couldnt be doing with all that, lifes too short to have someone mess up your head and heart, he sounds like a player and hasnt got any feelings for you

Hes getting round you and your backing down, your a silly girl, theres plenty more fish in the sea hun. Get rid.

Pipxoxo