Hello my friends!

Hello beauties,

I wanted to pop in and see how everyone is doing! I've completed my certificate to teach English to speakers of foreign languages and ... more importantly ... I am starting a new job on Monday! Things didn't work out with me and the cutr Brit romantically - it was too soon for me - but he is a friend, which is a great thing.

Lots of crazy stuff going on at the Love Rats/You Choose board, btw. Apparently an article was printed about the problems with love rats and British women and it mentioned the board. They've been overwhelmed by Turkish men trying to defend their honor. One of them said the women on the board were never with a real Turkish man - just Kurdish men - because you have to be a supermodel or beautiful to get one of them. He went on to say Kurdish men look Arabic and Turkish men look Italian.

xoxox

Hey curly glad to see you are ok and well done on getting your certificate its so funny what they will say to cover facts.we have a few kurdish friends and i have to say not one of them looks arabic :/ i should know as my hubby is arabic ( born in turkey )and they certainly do not look like him x

Hiya Curly

Its lovely to see you post, its been such a long time, Strawbs and I were only wondering about you last week and how you were getting on.

Congratulations on obtaining your certificate to teach in English and the very best of luck with your new job on Monday. Write back and tell us all about your first day

With regards to your paragraph:-
'Lots of crazy stuff going on at the Love Rats/You Choose board, btw. Apparently an article was printed about the problems with love rats and British women and it mentioned the board. They've been overwhelmed by Turkish men trying to defend their honor. One of them said the women on the board were never with a real Turkish man - just Kurdish men - because you have to be a supermodel or beautiful to get one of them. He went on to say Kurdish men look Arabic and Turkish men look Italian.'

Turks and Kurds are human beings, the same as everyone else, and I get sick and tired to my back teeth of the constant battle they have amongst each other, one of the examples you have highlighted in your post. Also the Turkish/Kurdish debate has absolutely nothing to do with people falling in love and which person is better than the other. We are all equal. I really dont think that board serves anyone's needs and is best avoided.

Ruby

Thanks, ladies!

Ruby, I do lurk here and I get a lot of laughs!You guys are awesome sauce.

I agree with you 1000%. Those sites do not help anyone and do more harm than good. I don't know the history of that particular site but I stumbled across it on the way to you all.

Hi Curly,

Good to hear from you! I'm glad things are going well for you, and congratulations on passing your exams to teach English! Good luck with your new job, too!

I don't know this site you've mentioned, though funnily enough, I've just been going through my emails and came across a message from someone, who I think may be a manager of the site - I only scanned it quickly, so I'll take another look later. It did mention something about a Facebook Loverat site being closed? Is that the same one you're talking about?

Regarding the Turkish -v- Kurdish issue, as a rule you will find that many Turkish men dislike Kurds and blame them for all the ills and woes of the country. A lot of Turks think that Kurds are backward, uneducated and corrupt. That's not ME saying that - that's the general theme you will get from many Turks. I would guess that the reason some of these Turkish men are saying these women can only get a Kurdish man, is that their prejudices against Kurds leads them to believe that most Kurds are cheats and will use any woman (irrespective of her looks etc) in order to get out of Turkey. But some Turkish men do exactly the same thing, too!


Lookswise, I believe there is a difference between most Turks and Kurds. Kurds are usually darker and more hairy. But you can also find dark, hairy Turks! But generally Kurds are darker, and many of them have large noses. Doesn't make them less good-looking, though! One of our silent members is married to a SERIOUSLY handsome Kurd, and some members of other sites married to Turkish men have beady-eyed, pinch-faced weasels for husbands'! lol

Mind you, those beady-eyed Turks and weedy Turtles aren't married to supermodels! haha So where these men get the idea that only beautiful supermodel types can bag a Turk. has to be the most hilarious statement I've read this year!

I've noticed quite a few women with Turks, who like to say their 'hubbies' are mistaken for Italians - anyone would think they were ASHAMED to be married to a Turk!!

Talking of Italians - we've just come back from Italy (well, yesterday lunchtime, actually) and both Ertie and I were mistaken for Italians several times - and I'm English! But I think some people thought that (even Italians) because I had a big fur hat on (sunny but so cold on the canals!) and Ertie wore a cap (seems to be the trend in Italy ) so that's probably why some people assumed we were Italian?

Having said that, many of the Italians were quite fair (we were in Venice) and they didn't look Turkish at all. Besides not many of them being particularly dark, they have a different face structure - and they dress VERY differently. They OOZE style.....

We spent three days and nights there, and had a WONDERFUL time. Arrived 'James Bond' style by private water taxi - HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! And when the driver turned into the Grand Canal we actually gasped - it was like entering a fairytale - except it was for real!! Of course, we took the gondola ride - as you do - and that was soooooooo relaxing going down the little side canals - under the Bridge of Sighs...aaaaaah....and I think the Rialto Bridge became our favourite place of all. We stayed in St Marco - and got wonderfully lost the first night - the narrow alleyways all look identical!

Sooo....I've gone off topic (shame we don't have a musty old librarian on here to rush up with an OFF TOPIC sign! lol) but after feasting our eyes on the most BEAUTIFUL architecture (even the old alleyways are beautiful!) and Ertie reminding me that the Italians pinched the horses now at St Marks from Constantinople (I think I've spelt that wrong!) and all Istanbul now has is one horse's foot - we then entered St Mark's, and after looking at the incredible beauty inside - we then knelt and said a prayer and lit candles for our lost loved ones. Although Ertie is Muslim, like me he knows God/Allah wouldn't be offended chatting to Him in a Catholic church....and there was something just SO special seeing those candles we lit burning for the people we loved....in probably one of the most important churches in the whole world....

Foodwise (I have to talk about food!lol) we adored the gelato, coffee, wine, seafood, sardines with onion, risotto.....but the Venetians don't do good pizzas or typical Italian, like Spaghetti Bolognese, for example....and everything is HUGELY expensive. But it's sooo worth it! There's nowhere else on earth like it - it's the most romantic city I've ever been to.

Ooooh, I'll post a gondola picture up on my photo album............


Sorry I've rambled - and all off topic too!

Anyway, loook forward to hearing from you soon.........and don't leave it so long!

Strawbs

By the way - just to let people know - I do look a bit scruffy in the picture I've just posted! But my boots aren't really scuffed - that was just dirt from all the miles of walking we did! We walked, walked, walked....non stop! We must have walked miles! And I don't have a stain on my leggings, either! haha

Strawbs

Hey Curly,

Do you mean this site mentioned below?

http://www.haberalsak.com/yasam/turk-erkegi-icin-oyle-bir-grup-kurdular-ki-h31563.html.


Strawbs

Hi Strawbs,

I love Italy! My family went to the motherland years ago. I'm glad you had a wonderful time. Venice is one of the most magical places on earth.

Thank you for explaining the Turkish/Kurdish issue. When I was in Taxim, there were quite a few demonstrations by the Kurdish people.

This is theTurkish Love Rats site I mentioned. It's hard to follow but if you scroll down on the first page, you'll see a letter from the woman who moderated the Facebook page that was taken down and imagine she was the same one who contacted you. Some of the stories on this website made my hair stand on end and I can honestly say I got off easily. I'm corresponding with an American woman I met there - I'm encouraging her to come here because she really needs it! - who is trapped in a dangerous cycle with a Turkish man. They fight, they break up, she calls him crying,they get back together ... regardless of where this guy came from, this is not a healthy relationship. But she's convinced herself he is the last man on earth.

curlyboop wrote:Hi Strawbs,

I love Italy! My family went to the motherland years ago. I'm glad you had a wonderful time. Venice is one of the most magical places on earth.

Thank you for explaining the Turkish/Kurdish issue. When I was in Taxim, there were quite a few demonstrations by the Kurdish people.

This is theTurkish Love Rats site I mentioned. It's hard to follow but if you scroll down on the first page, you'll see a letter from the woman who moderated the Facebook page that was taken down and imagine she was the same one who contacted you. Some of the stories on this website made my hair stand on end and I can honestly say I got off easily. I'm corresponding with an American woman I met there - I'm encouraging her to come here because she really needs it! - who is trapped in a dangerous cycle with a Turkish man. They fight, they break up, she calls him crying,they get back together ... regardless of where this guy came from, this is not a healthy relationship. But she's convinced herself he is the last man on earth.

Hi Curly,

Aah, you're of Italian origin? Great genes you must have, then! The Italians have everything don't they? Looks, charm, oozes of style, humour, joie de vivre - and they know how to eat and drink too! And everything is just beautiful - from their ruins - to their clothes - to their jewellery - everything's just lovely and a feast for the eyes.....music's good too!

To be honest, the food in Venice was not as good as it is in the rest of Italy (there's a slight Austrian influence there I felt...) but yes, Venice is like a fairytale! As you say, it's totally magical and its beauty is astonishing. We're defintely going back- may even sneak a quick overnight stay in a couple of weeks!

On to the Turkish/Kurdish issue - I think I explained it correctly - but like I said, I've never been very involved or particularly curious about the Turkish/Kurdish conflict, although I did quickly realise there was animosity between many Turks and Kurds when I first visited Turkey, but I've never got involved in it. I know lots of women can become quite prejudiced, and if they have a Turkish partner they will sometimes become anti-Kurdish, and vice versa. I think it's all rather ridiculous, but there's no denying that many Turks do feel very strongly that Kurds are to blame for many wrongdoings - and I can't see that changing very soon, either!

I think many Turks are prejudiced against Kurds, and if there's ever a burglary or anything like that they tend to think it must have been carried out by a Kurd. I think many Turks view Kurds in the same way that many Brits view travellers (Gypsyies - albeit not true Gypsies) - that's the impression I get, anyway. But obviously, there's good and bad in all camps......and there's PLENTY of unscrupulous, shifty Turks!

Slightly off-topic, but in Green Lanes, London - which is Little Turkey - I would hazard a guess that 95% of the Turks are actually Kurdish. I've never tried to discover why that is so, but it certainly seems that way. Green Lanes also has a disproportionately large number of illegal immigrants - and when the legal ones who have married a British woman, just for a visa, finally abscond they usually head for Green Lanes or Stoke Newington. Very easy to 'get lost' there.....

Thank you for posting that link from the Loverat site. Yes, I think it is the same woman who emailed me - and I'm just about to reply to her. I'm also going to put her link up with instructions on how to join. She is trying her hardest to help these women, and it would be criminal if her site was forced to close. But we won't let that happen!

Curly, do try and encourage your friend to come over on here. I've heard of hundreds of women in these dreadful, destructive relationships, and bit by bit they come to believe they deserve to be treated like dirt or a crumb, and they'll make excuse after excuse for the pig of a man. They become totally blinkered, or in some cases, they turn a blind eye. There's ALWAYS a fallout eventually, by which time they've often lost not just their confidence and self-esteem, but also sometimes their homes, family, friends, jobs, money - and usually end up in deep debt to boot! And of course, something they'll NEVER recoup is TIME - and if they've thrown, say, five/ten years away on a weasel - there's nothing in the world they can do to get those years back......

I hope you can encourage her to listen to sense, Curly!

Look forward to hearing from you soon, and I hope you're having a great weekend ..............

Strawbs

Hi Strawbs,

It's so hard for a woman who is taken by a loves rat to understand how and why someone who showered her with so much love and affection can become so cruel at the drop of a hat. In my darkest days, I used to think about the good times and gasp. We all use the same language when we talk - "it was like he walked out of a romance novel,"" he was my Prince Charming" etc. I don't know about British men but Americans are seriously lacking in the romance department so of course this was going to make me feel like a princess. All the women I talked to, they all worry they will never again find a man who makes them feel this way.

But you know, life isn't fantasy land. I think about the times when I wanted to impress a guy I liked by cooking dinner or something - and I can tell you, it was more like a comedy than a scene from a love story. I think quite a few men are now suffering from hypertension thanks to my over salted food. A person who is smitten with you will be nervous when trying to impress you and they will mess up. That's what makes it real. When I look back, it was all too perfect and too slick - he knew exactly where to take me, what to say, what to do. It wasn't for ME or a sign that he cared for me. It was a show and I was one of the characters. When we were alone, he wasn't quite so romantic.

You - and the rest of you ladies - are a blessing to those of us who need to be pulled out of the dark side.

Hi Curly

As we have discussed many times previously, your ex was an actor worthy of being nominated for an Oscar. He is a no good piece of shit and not worthy of your head space.

I am thinking about you starting your new job tomorrow, good luck with it, who knows, you may meet Mr Right there

Be sure to let us know how your first day went.

Hugs, Ruby

Absolutely, Ruby! I've just been talking to some ladies who are going through similar situations so I'm having a lot of a-ha moments. If I can help someone else out, then at least something good can come out of all this.

Thanks for the well wishes! I'm working at a museum so I'm very excited.

curlyboop wrote:Absolutely, Ruby! I've just been talking to some ladies who are going through similar situations so I'm having a lot of a-ha moments. If I can help someone else out, then at least something good can come out of all this.

Thanks for the well wishes! I'm working at a museum so I'm very excited.

Oh Curly, good for you, just make sure you avoid any of those stuffy boring tight fisted men who are in dire need of a good scrub down (Turkish bath style) as they tend to spend an enormous amount of time in museums to avoid putting the electric on when at home, and then proceed to either chat you up or bore you to death.

What you need my lovely is a handsome, fit young man with a bodyboard chest (watch The Vow movie - Leo is great eye candy ) who will look after you and spoil you. You deserve happiness and dont accept anything else - there really are some oddballs who frequent museums and we dont want you being unhappy again being taken in by their lies

Hugs, Ruby

Curly hope your well....any news on the member and the new site.....Id like to have a looksie.......

Hi lady's .i am a member of the you choose group.
As curlyboop said we had a lot of posts from Turkish men and lady's after the Facebook l/r went viral.it was published in a local Turkish newspaper I think.
Now I'm not here to cause a bitchfiest but I have some questions:
Curly you said you lurked at you choose, and got some laughs.is it funny to read how women have been hurt or conned ?
Infact there is a very similar story to your own on there involving a other woman from indonisa.i for one offerd this lady support and advice even sent p-m to see how she was,because she was very upset.
Regarding these sites not being any use.i think the support and advice that is given can be very helpful for some of the lady's posting.
So why do you think the group doz more harm than good and should be avoided.
You yourself said u LURK there now and again.

Jamren wrote:Hi lady's .i am a member of the you choose group.
As curlyboop said we had a lot of posts from Turkish men and lady's after the Facebook l/r went viral.it was published in a local Turkish newspaper I think.
Now I'm not here to cause a bitchfiest but I have some questions:
Curly you said you lurked at you choose, and got some laughs.is it funny to read how women have been hurt or conned ?
Infact there is a very similar story to your own on there involving a other woman from indonisa.i for one offerd this lady support and advice even sent p-m to see how she was,because she was very upset.
Regarding these sites not being any use.i think the support and advice that is given can be very helpful for some of the lady's posting.
So why do you think the group doz more harm than good and should be avoided.
You yourself said u LURK there now and again.

I would NEVER EVER laugh at someone else's pain. I was lurking here and laughing at the stories that were posted by the women on this board. What I meant was that the posts by men dividing Turks and Kurds were not helpful to anyone. I am sorry that was unclear.

I truly appreciate any group that offers support to women in pain.

Welcome jamren......nice to have you join.....have u a story to tell us......dont be hard on Curly she's a goodun......

Im used to be on one of the turkish love rats site about 5 years ago after i was very badly conned by my boyfriend at the time who well was supposed to be my fiance..he would always insist he was Turkish and not Kurdish and i learned very quickly the anger they have and almost shame they have in admitting they are Kurdish..The prejudism still very much exists as ive been going to Turkey for the past 7 years and met both Turkish and Kurdish men whilst on holiday..(as even though i was conned out of a lot of money i put it down to my own stupidity and the indiviual involved and not the whole race of people.)I choose to value people on their on self not which part of the country they are from.
One thing i will say is that without being on the site i dont think i would have gotten through my darkest days without the help and friendships i had on there and still speak to some of the women today.some of which have gone on to have good relationships with new Turkish/Kurdish men..
It was like having an online free councelling service and being able to see both sides of the story and learn so much about the reasons people get conned in the first place.
I have to say Turkey has been lifechanging for me.Its certainly made me a stronger and wiser person.It does grieve me that the guy who conned me out of quite a substantial amount of money is still doing it to other women and will go on doing it without any remorse whatsoever..but this is him and they are not all the same.
Yes there are alot who desperately want to change their lives and get out of Turkey and experience the knowledge of living in another country,and dont use other people money to do it.We all have our dreams, but to me the only dreams that come true are the ones that are not gained by someone elses pain.
If i can be on any assistance to anyone going through a bad situation and give advice with an open heart im very glad to do so.
I look forward to meeting some new friends on here

Curlyboops.

Thank you for the welcome.Turkishheartdrop.
I dont no about the story haha.mines a goodone so might be a bit boring.

If my post to curly came across as being "hard" then im sorry it was not ment to be.

Welcome to the site Jamren, I dont know why you think we wont be interested in your story, all of ours or most are good ones as well How long have you been with your fella?

Pol x

A very warm welcome to jamren and ameliecat.

Ameliecat I do hope that you are now feeling much better. It sounds like you have been through a really tough time, but hopefully, you can turn it into a learning experience and decide to make a negative situation into a positive outcome for yourself by becoming stronger and wiser. I wish you well.

Curly went through an awful ordeal, and I absolutely know that she would never intentionally say anything to upset any woman who has suffered a similar situation to hers. As Jamren now knows, Curly was referring to lurking around this site which puts a smile on her face when she is feeling a bit low.

Hope to exchange more posts from you ladies soon.

Take care

Ruby

Hi pol.
I have been with my fella 11 yrs,married for 9.
A holiday romance that blossomed

ameliecat wrote:Im used to be on one of the turkish love rats site about 5 years ago after i was very badly conned by my boyfriend at the time who well was supposed to be my fiance..he would always insist he was Turkish and not Kurdish and i learned very quickly the anger they have and almost shame they have in admitting they are Kurdish..The prejudism still very much exists as ive been going to Turkey for the past 7 years and met both Turkish and Kurdish men whilst on holiday..(as even though i was conned out of a lot of money i put it down to my own stupidity and the indiviual involved and not the whole race of people.)I choose to value people on their on self not which part of the country they are from.
One thing i will say is that without being on the site i dont think i would have gotten through my darkest days without the help and friendships i had on there and still speak to some of the women today.some of which have gone on to have good relationships with new Turkish/Kurdish men..
It was like having an online free councelling service and being able to see both sides of the story and learn so much about the reasons people get conned in the first place.
I have to say Turkey has been lifechanging for me.Its certainly made me a stronger and wiser person.It does grieve me that the guy who conned me out of quite a substantial amount of money is still doing it to other women and will go on doing it without any remorse whatsoever..but this is him and they are not all the same.
Yes there are alot who desperately want to change their lives and get out of Turkey and experience the knowledge of living in another country,and dont use other people money to do it.We all have our dreams, but to me the only dreams that come true are the ones that are not gained by someone elses pain.
If i can be on any assistance to anyone going through a bad situation and give advice with an open heart im very glad to do so.
I look forward to meeting some new friends on here

Hi Ameliecat,

Welcome to the site. Could I suggest you start a new thread introducing yourself? It's just that your post could easily be missed (I've only just come across it!) and as you do have experience of a loverat you may be of help to others - whether they post or just read........


Strawbs

Jamren wrote:Hi pol.
I have been with my fella 11 yrs,married for 9.
A holiday romance that blossomed

Hi Jamren,

Welcome to the site.

Sounds like you have a wonderful story to tell us!! Be our guest!

Can I ask just one thing? Why do you refer to your husband as your 'fella'?

Strawbs