Sirin
Supreme Member
Group: Members
Posts: 554
Joined: 10-August 08
Posted 02 November 2009 - 02:23 PM
View Postbenhalterci, on Nov 2 2009, 11:38 AM, said:
As I was mentioning in my last post, my husband went against his family's wishes, and I have several acquaintances whose husbands did the same. So it is perhaps not as uncommon as some people's experiences suggest.
I may be wrong on this one....... it's just a hunch..... but I think on occasions, some Turkish guys find 'family' a convenient excuse. Tearfully, they tell the girlfriend that their family has arranged a marriage for them, and there's nothing they can do, but I'm not certain that this is always the truth.
This is why I am not sure that Elaine, you should necessarily blame the parents. Firstly because he knew his own family situation from the start, so it was unfair to involve you in it. Secondly, because it's not entirely impossible that this is very much HIS decision but he's not taking responsibility for it. Easier to say that it's his wicked parents / family obligation / ex wife whom he does not love......
I trained as a psychotherapist, and one of the first things we were taught is that what someone tells you is one version of the truth. What someone else tells you of the same story is another version, and the truth is often somewhere in the middle.