My guy's jealous cos I masterbate

Let me introduce myself. My name is (xxxxx) I've been a Turk goer for 2 years, rather not say the resort if you don't mind, you will guess why. This is a deadly serious question--I'm no mad troll and this an adult question so please - no funny responses from childish fools with nothing better to do.

I live in England and get to see my Turkish guy 4 times a year -this year may be 5 times depending. We are close as close can be with him in Turkey and me here and we make up for it when we're together. I've got no complaints with him - just one - and I want to know if this is a common Turkish tendency.

My guy got jealous when I told him I masturbate when I'm in England.

I mean really jealous. He blew a gasket and said I'm never to do it again as it's disrespectful. I can't understand why he's jealous about it and I want to know if this is a Turkish problem? I tried to tell him I have to masterbate as I get very heated and need relief. I've masturbated all my life (even when I was living with my ex) I enjoy it and now I'm in an exclusive relationship I have to masterbate, if I don't I get migraines so it's even medically necessary as far as I'm concerned.

I shouldn't be justifying this to myself or anyone else and the problem I have got is that I can't lie, it's just not in me. Now every time I talk to my guy (every day without fail) he asks me if I've masterbated and when I tell him I have he sulks and says I'm being disloyal. I think it's stupid to get jealous over this and it's building tension up in our relationship. If he was happy about this he would be perfect but he sulks and gets all moody about it. My question to you is this, is this normal Turkish behaviour? If it is , why?

they do it all the time 31!

Miche x

Welcome to the site PPP.

Well masturbation is a normal bodily function especially if your partner is crap in bed

PPP, I am sure your guy resorts to having a quick J Arthur Rank whilst you are in the UK otherwise his balls would go into overload and explode into a million pieces

Ask him when he last had an otuz bir.

I think we should start a Poll (not picking on you PolLypecker), how many people on this site have masturbated over the last 5 days and at what frequency?

Ruby

I think you've answered your own question there - you shouldn't be justifying this to yourself or anyone else.

Masturbation is not wrong, it's not bad and it's not shameful. It's perfectly healthy and normal behaviour. It seems to be quite standard practice for muslims to have hang ups about sex - they think all sorts of things that are perfectly natural, healthy and normal are dirty, wrong and shameful.

If your bloke is giving you grief about this it sounds to me like he is not really cut out for a relationship with someone outside of his own culture/religion. Best he sticks to people who have the same mindset as him, can understand his objections and are happy to toe the line I'd say.

Welcome Pretty cant you just not tell him your doing it? that way your not lying if you get my meaning I think its normal to do it but some familys tell the kids its bad for them and give them hang ups about it his family could be behind it and told him its dirty, thats not only a Turkish thing its like it over here as well, its the shame of it:pale:

Maria

I dont see why hes getting moody over you doing that......you sure he knows what you mean?.......what a strange thing to ask in yr first post! ............

Thanks for your thoughts. Ruby, my guy is fantastic in bed, I have no complaints in that department at all. My problem is when we're apart, I'm a normal healthy woman with needs and I don't like having to lie to him. I think it's silly to get jealous over something I'm doing myself, I can't get my head round that one.

He tells me he doesn't masturbate and I was surprised about that but I admit I thought it was strange, I thought everyone masterbated, even animals so I'm beginning to wonder if he does masterbate and is too ashamed to admit it?

Guveclover, no I don't need to justify it to myself or to anyone else, I don't want to sound rude but it's noone's business from the way I see it, but I want my guy to understand it's natural and normal. My ex knew I used to masterbate and he was fine with it, he never felt undermined by it or thought he wasn't satisfying me, he knew it was something I enjoy doing in addition to my normal sex life. I'm not prepared to go into great detail but let's just say my ex was more than happy for me to do it and it probably turned him on. My guy now was disgusted when I told him and took it very badly and has never been able to accept it. The prospect of finishing with him over it isn't something I'd consider at this stage. I'd like to thrash it out with him and bring him round to my way of thinking. If this is a Turkish ideal then I'd like to explain to him not everyone frowns upon it.

Maria, I said already that I don't want to lie, I just cant and he asks me outright if I have or not so that's not an option I have. You could be right about the family but he's never mentioned them to me, he just tells me what HE finds wrong and disrespectful. He told me he feels it's disloyal and he can't trust me which I just don't get.

I'm not prepared to deny myself satisfaction but on the other hand I don't want to end it with him because other than this he is perfect for me in every way.


Turkishheartdrop, I have steamed in I guess, but this is an adult forum is it not? I don't see the point of beating around the bush with niceties, I like to get straight to the point. I'm a busy woman with a good career and can't be faffing around on forums doing quizzes and things like that, I just want to get straight to the point and sooner rather than later is my motto.

PiP, I found your post rather mmmmm contradictory...

You tell Judith that you dont need to justify yourself to anyone else and that 'I don't want to sound rude but it's noone's business from the way I see it' but in your last sentence you say 'I have steamed in I guess'...' I don't see the point of beating around the bush with niceties, I like to get straight to the point'.........and finally 'I just want to get straight to the point '...

You let it all hang out in the first post with stuff that's 'pretty' (forgive the hint at pun) personal and then tell us that it's none of our business. FFS, as far as I can read you made it everyone on this site's business..so now accept the advice graciously..go take your derriere off and masterbate quietly like the rest of humankind, and when your hands are free...come back and write something a little more amusing or challenging.

Nicks

Totally agree with you nicks....it might be a normal thing but its pretty heavy on a first post to come out with that! if your too busy to join in with the nice things then go look at an adult site specially associated with that kind of questions.we dont all sit here doing quizzes,but if that whats takes some peoples fancy then so be it.maybe we all sit doing otuz bir but we dont go splashing it about on a public forum as an introduction.i dont think your serious and i think your just trying to stir it up.hope strawbs sees through this and gets rid of it eeeewwww nasty

I am replying to this thread now as my hands are free

Pretty, you state 'He tells me he doesn't masturbate and I was surprised about that but I admit I thought it was strange, I thought everyone masterbated, even animals so I'm beginning to wonder if he does masterbate and is too ashamed to admit it?'

No matter how much you discuss this debate with him, if he has grown up with the values and beliefs that masturbating is wrong, you will never convince him otherwise. His brain has been programmed to believe that it is wrong, just like he has been brainwashed not to eat pork, that he will believe circumcision is the best choice etc etc. This is his cultural beliefs and you are not going to convince him otherwise.

I am not saying that his beliefs are wrong, we are all brainwashed from an early age with certain values and after the age of 5 it is instilled into our brains and it is a terribly difficult task to try an unravel this.

I also think you are an attention seeker and to ask such a question as a first post speaks volumes about you.

Ruby

Now on to the Word Association Game

Ruby

Hi PrettyinPink,

I haven't been able to reply to you until now, but I can tell you that I am rather taken aback at how you brazen you are to discuss this issue - and in your introductory post, too! I never know who is genuine or not when they first post, and so I like to give members the benefit of the doubt. However, reading through both your posts I noticed a few things that seemed somewhat odd to me.

You misspell the word maturbate several times - and whilst we all occasionally make spelling mistakes and typos - it just seemed rather odd coming from someone who is a masturbating fanatic. On top of that, you seem to like writing the word, masturbate, and if you hadn't said you were a woman - I would think you were a man getting a kick out of discussing it. I could be wrong (and apologies if I am) but I suspect your next post could be a lead-up to asking our members what their activities are in that department.

I can understand, if you are genuine, wanting to know a Turkish man's take on this kind of thing, but not all Turkish men are the same. And even if we were to tell you that our partners/husbands saw the act as perfectly natural - that isn't going to change your boyfriend's mindset. Is it?! In fact, if anything, if you told him other Turkish men were happy for their girlfriends to masturbate, he'd probably say they were bad men - and that would only reinforce his beliefs on how disgusting he thinks it is.

So really and truly, there's no advice we can offer you to help you over this quandry. Besides that, you've been in this relationship for two years now, so why is it only just starting to bother you so much? Someone suggested you don't tell him about pleasuring yourself, and I think that's the way forward for you if you want to keep a harmonious relationship going. I know you say that you can't lie to him, but if the truth is going to hurt him, what's the point of that? Of course, you could stop doing it, just to please him, but then you'll suffer migraines and frustration, and then arguments will probably develop because you'll be moody - just like he gets when you tell him what you've done. So it's a bit of a Catch 22 situation!

Finally, and having said all that, if everything you've said is true (and you are genuine) I would imagine the reason he is jealous of you masturbating - is not so much the act - but what you're thinking of when you do it! If he is so perfect - and so sure of you - he would know you're thinking about him when you're doing it!

Strawbs

Pretty, I have just said 'good night' to the vicar who had come around to mine for his weekly tea and cucumber sandwich , he gets a lot of pleasure from being in my company

So lets not beat around the bush any longer on this problem you have, a thought has arisen in my mind whilst making my bedtime cocoa, if your partner does not masturbate, then what does he do to relieve his sexual tension?

There is an old wives tale that too much masturbating affects your eyesight, maybe this is the reason why so many numpties end up with weedy, bow legged, short men, whom they truly believe to be drop dead gorgeous.

All you have to do is take a look around to see just how unsuitable these weeds are when stood next to a 20 stone plus woman who needs to book an urgent appointment with the opticians not only to get a grip with her own appearance, but to see what she has caught in her catch net

After you have performed the act of masturbation Pretty, what do you do with the 23 hours and 50 minutes left in your day?

Ruby

I agree strawbs.....I think shes a man LOL...........

I think its shamefull to talk about such a personal thing on a public site Its rude!

It sounds like a troll to me

Pipxoxo

Hi Rubes

You really make me howl with laughter....I was actually going to ask you if you're good at multi-tasking 'seeing as your hands are free'

I was also going to throw in a bit about Prec but thought it might go straight above pretty PINK's head,..who is probably very PINK as in closet gay... or a frustrated weedy turd or maybe a lardy lady from next door site. What self-respecting women is going to call herself 'Pretty in Pink' FCS! Anyway my Precious Prec has'nt been able to reach her nether regions since I put her on anti-retrovirals....she's now sleek, shiny and FAR too fat... and her pudgy hands would never reach there but ur dead on she has the dreaded big A and so does her husband as we say here 'a Very slow puncture' but that does'nt stop any nocturnal activity between them or anybody else. HIV has become the African equivalent of the Turkish Honour badge.....everbodies proud to have it...my gosh and I am a PINK Liberal and you girls have made me into Enoch Powels's flower-girl

Anyway I digress...I think Pink should call her/him self 'Pretty in Purple' it would be more apt....in fact Rubes after all that activity I think the rush of blood to her genitals has affected not only her sight but he/r mental state. I think we should give he/r a warning.....s/he might develop a stutter (with all the jerking) and her biceps will become really un'sightly'..perhaps s/he should ride a bike or horse at the same time so the lower part of the physique can be as well developed..otherwise the old legs will end up all spindly.

No I have not been drinking or smoking weed or MASS-turbating...just POKING .....fun at the world.

Ahhhh all have a great night

Nicks

Strawbs ur very observant.....too quick for me...bout that spelling...but was jus thinking before I retire to SLEEP .................the spelling of master...bate is very sexist must be a man...like a master getting his rebate...very stingy only buys the bacon!..not prepared to go the whole hog...ah i love metaphors

So glad to be a woman

Nicks

Good Morning Nicks

Your posts are so bloody funny, love them.

I guessed your Prec is a bit of a goer, and agree they hit the sack whenever they get the opportunity.

Know what you mean about 'trophies' a lot of chav's (chavs in the UK ouncil Housed and Violent) in the UK own trophy dogs like Staffordshire Bull Terriers, Rottweilers, German Shepherds and the like, and usually they own more than one, breed them, make some dosh to top up their Welfare Benefits, and due to the fact any dog can trip its tits at the drop of a hat, these irresponsible trophy owners basically have possession of the equivalent of a loaded gun in their hands and you often read of these chav's dogs escaping and ripping a child to bits often resulting in the death of the youngster.

Can you imagine the likes of Pauline, Linzee, Sirin attempting to 'master-bate', someone told me that really obese people have to wipe their bottom on an extended pole adaptation as their arms are not long enough to reach their nether regions, never mind have a bit of a rummage, just like the podgy hands of your Prec.

Pubes

banned