Sirin - Why She's Scared To Challenge 'Hubby'

I saw this little snippet Sirin written on T Central, and I think it gives amazing insight into her own insecurities:





"when a woman knows in her heart that her guy is not on the level, she knows that if she challenges him it could be the end of her relationship, so it takes a very strong woman not to back down and just go back to life as it was before."


She's admitted many times (albeit without realising it) that she's been too scared to ask 'hubby' certain questions - that each and every one of us wouldn't think twice about asking our men.

I always knew it was down to fear of him walking off...

What a way to live, eh? Having to turn a blind eye and keep your mouth buttoned....

Strawbs

P.S. I edited this as I just re-read it and saw the most appalling grammar - made by myself! lol I was tired when I wrote it, though!

Hundreds of women know what their husbands are up to but they never saying nothing and just let it jog along. They are scared of loosing them that's why, any woman who does that must know in her heart of hearts that he will more than likely walk and cant really love her. Women did that more years ago but now divorce is easier but you still get some women who cling on and try to ignore whats going on. I'm affraid I've got too much pride for that I could never be married to a man who only stayed with me for pity or for convenience and an easy life, the wifes not happy and the husbands not happy, I don't see the point in staying together. You only have one life.

Pipxoxo

Great observation Pip! I agree with everything you said.

Maria

She is wrong most women do challege a man if he has been untrue in any way. If a woman has kids then yes there might be a bit more of a chance that she would not want to stir shit up but Sirins not a mum she is just hanging in for dear life like a clingon as she doesn't want to loose face to anyone, but she is stupid theres nothing wrong with fighting with or leaving a partner thats acting poorly towards you.

she is like a 1920s housewife, put up with all the shit he gives you and put a big smile, no wonder she is resentful to the members of her site.

I agree with you Teenz - women with children are far more likely to tolerate an unhappy or unhealthy relationship in order to maintain "a family" for the sake of their children. That's often driven by altruism and is a maternal imperative and something totally diferent.

But surely only someone who was extremely needy, or severely lacking emotionally or in confidence would put up with being treated badly or unreasonably by a man if she had only herself to consider?

In those circumstances I'd turn this argument on it's head and say that it would take a very weak woman to stay and tolerate it, rather than a strong woman to walk away from it.

This is the 21st century, not the times of Jane Austin. The positition and role of women in society has changed immensely over the years. There is simply no shame in being single. As they say, it's far better to be alone and maintain your dignity and self respect than be poorly accompanied just so you can say you've got a man.

Oh, excellent point, Judith. One thing, though : whilst I agree with you that it does take a weak woman to contend with such a dreadful situation - I also believe that many needy women are prepared to put up with such a sterile and loveless marriage.

Stawbs

I agree..except he's not really a proper man is he.

Maria

Nowadays no woman has to put up with an unhapy marriage even if she has kids, it is harder to walk when you have young'uns but help is out there, with Sirin she is staying in it because she'd feel ashamed to admit it was a failure and she wants to have a Turkish man in her life and tell people she's got a hubby. So theres lots of reasons she's like clingfilm to him and she might of even come to some kind of deal with him so he wont leave her. She married late too so that must scare her, she had trouble finding a man to settle down with and never had a proper relationship before marrying, they was all casual ones even her Turkish ex...that was just a few meets a year for a couple of weeks...not really a relationships was it. She would panick like crazy and be terrified if he upped and left her so she will never challenge him and he has the freedom to do what he wants when he wants. It would not be for me but some women put up with small offerings to save their shame, even though there is no shame in splitting up these women don't see it like that and want to clingon for dear life.

Sal

She'll cling on to him for dear life. Remember, she's a middle-aged woman - past her prime - weird - and has the shape of a sausage roll. She couldn't get a man, so she more or less bought one who came fishing on the Internet. She'll keep her beady eyes closed to his peccadillos...... just so she can tell people she's got a 'hubby' (bet she doesn't tell him what he is, though! AHEM!)

Still no patter of tiny feet is there..........

Strawbs