Another Howler if it wasnt so tragic

We have a lady who is in distress as she is living in Turkey with her bullying husband and two children age 2 and 4. She does not work so is unable to support herself, but she absolutely loves, loves, loves the lifestyle and she does have a good circle of friends (I imagine ex pats!!!!!!!!!!!!). She has admitted that she knows it is not sustainable to be able to remain in Turkey and her husband has threatened if she takes the children to the UK he will sever all ties with them. She wants advice on what to do for the best for the sake of her children. Oh, and she states that she does not speak the language.

Never fear, the manager has come up with some sound advice 'How's your Turkish? If your Turkish is passable, you can probably pretty much live where you want to there, but even if it's not great, you could always relocate to an area with an expat population', she then continues with her essay on various solutions for her to remain in Turkey.

What I want to know is how is this woman going to be able to support herself and her two children when her husband falls out of the picture, no one has asked if she has a Kimlik or a Work Permit which are about as rare as rocking horse shit. Then we have to consider child care costs. If I was that woman with a control freak around me, I would be secretly booking the next flight back to any UK airport with my two children. I do know that ocassionally you may be asked at Passport Control where the Turkish father is, but if these kids have British passports, the chances of this happening are reduced and she could make up a story that he is following in a few days etc. just give some bullshit similar to the crap they come out with. I do know that legally you should not leave Turkey without the written permission of the Turkish parent, but I have taken my Turkish grandson in and out of Turkey more times than I can remember and never been questioned, and he does have a Turkish name on his British Passport. I do recall they are hot on this at Ataturk Airport, but maybe Dalaman, Bodrum etc could be sweet talked if it came to that. If this woman really wants the best for her two children, get out of Turkey NOW. Even if you are prevented from boarding the flight, it will go to Court very fast and the Turkish Court will give the mother custody (unless drugs, prostitution are involved) and will allow them to exit Turkey.

Ruby

I agree. How can anyone support themselves in a foreign country in this way. I certainly wouldn't trust that the husband will be supporting his children for long and should he fail to do so what would the authorities in Turkey do to make him pay? Nothing I suspect. Where does that leave the wife and children? I can't see how you can live and bring up children in Turkey without having the means to work legally and there again what sort of jobs are available to English speakers? Obviously teaching is one which many try to do, but my understanding is that you need to have a degree as well as TEFL/CELTA qualifications in order to get a decently paid post.

The other alternative is to work long long hours which defeats the purpose as someone has to look after the children for you. Unless you have a sound knowledge of Turkish and a good support network around then I can't see how it will work, and of course an ex-husband who understands and acknowledges his responsibilities and keeps to them! Difficult enough in the UK never mind Turkey!

Sally