ameliecat wrote:
Hia Ladies and thanks for the replies..ive had a busy week so not been on but yes i will go into a bit more detail for ya now that i have a bit spare time.
I was a memeber of the old Turkish love rats site years ago and put many posts on there..In total he got about £30.000 out of me.It started with helping him with his business and then buying a car and then the full blown lot for the apartment which ofcourse was all hyped by him saying the market was going up and up and we needed to get this apartment quick while it was the same price bla bla ..I must admit i was so green at this time and did believe every thing he was saying to me..i was totally smitten with him and his charming ways.Of course he painted a lovely dreamy picture of us having this wonderful future together and was very attentive and loving towards me..We got engaged and had eachothers names carved inside the rings haha..and had this whole cermony where you have the red ribbon and cut it..anyhow he got this apartment with the money i sent him and wouldnt wait till i go there and choose one together and said ofcourse not to worry that my name would go on the tapu at a later date but ofcourse this would cost so much more money and time and why didnt i trust him enough lol haha..!!!
So i arrive and he had it all kitted out like a traditional Turkish home in a turkish area of the town..We decorated it together and i brought all kinds of things from England and had half my wardrobe of clothes there including my sons who came with me several times .so it was like our little home..My son had his own bedroom and my family came over and stayed and so did his.
Then when my family started to say, hang on you really need to get your name put on this place ,I did pressurise him a bit about it and we ended up rowing everytime over it.I went back a few months later in the November for a week and he asked for money again as the car wasnt a very good one and wanted another £2.000 for a newer one..I got really angry and said no more money ..I was already drowning in debt in England and said he wasnt keeping to his side of the bargain which was to help me pay my things back home ..He basically said thats your problem not mine ..and you will never get your name on the tapu,that his family would never allow it..He said my choice was to leave my kids and home in England and come and live with him there in Turkey..No mention of marriage by this time by the way ..So i left and came home and got intouch with who i thought was a good solicitor..From the same town..to try and see what i could do to get my name on the tapu or get my money back.. (silly stupid me not even thinking that he would know my fiance)Ofcourse he did know him very well (he was infact was a family friend)and told my fiance everything i was doing behind his back..He told me my fiance had sold the home onto someone else so i couldnt do anything about it.even though i had all the proof of the money and a coy of the tapu. This was a lie as i knew he was still living in it.He phoned me up when i was in England and said over the phone ..'I know what youve done and im taking every single thing of yours and your sons and im dumping them ..You have nothing left .'I was hyterical but could do nothing ..I have never seen him again ..and never been able to get my money back..and to be honest ended up having to go bankrupt after having such a fantastic credit rating in this country..and he didnt give a toss..in fact he laughed down the phone at me when i was having a nervous breakdown..He absolutely crippled me finacially and its been a long hard road back i can tell you..
so if anyone wants to know who this person is..yes hes still doing it to other women and getting away with it..so i have posted on LCB site..under the name of amelieally...
Hi Ameliecat,
I think it's very brave of you to put your story up - a lot of women just vanish into thin air when this sort of thing happens to them - but you have the guts and decency to warn others about these men, and you also put your hands up to admit that you do regret giving him the money.
He obviously manipulated you with his charms, and when you do like someone and they seem genuine, I suppose you don't even want to consider they could have an ulterior motive. He obviously worked on you - starting off small and then going for the kill - and that's a typical scenario. The trouble with that tactic is they really gain your trust by working on you slowly, so you feel so comfortable with them and so trusting of them that you feel you know them inside out and they'd never cheat you. And when they turn on the charm and treat you like a treasure, it's very easy to get sucked in - especially when you're head over heels with them! Falling in love/infatuation gives you a sense of euphoria and you just can't SEE any wrong in that person.
And that's what these men play on.
Your rat obviously intended feathering his nest in Turkey, while others want the visa and passport for the UK. Just out of curiosity, and I don't mean this in an accusational way by any means, but what excuse did he give you for you not going on the Tapu in the beginning? Did he say something like 'that's how it's done in Turkey'?
You know, I'm sure I read somewhere that they've brought a new law out in Turkey whereby if you can prove you were defrauded (which you were) the courts can sieze his assets - and even those of his family! If I were you I would see a solicitor in this country who deals with foreign law (you can find one by phoning the Law Society) and just see if something can be done. It's worth a shot! I do know for a fact that if a person in Turkey owes a debt and they don't pay it, they can be imprisoned and have the bailiffs brought in - so if I were you I wouldn't give up just yet. Thirty thousand pounds is a lot of money, and as you have proof you gave him that money to buy a property for YOU, then I'm sure that would be classed as theft or fraud.
It's terrifying to think he's still doing this! Do you have his picture on that site? You're more than welcome to put it up on here if you want to.
It's cold comfort to say you're well shot of him when he left you brokenhearted, broke and on the verge of having a nervous breakdown - and I bet the regret, pain and anger has left scars. It must do. Some people say 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' but I think that's a load of old tosh! I've seen people reduced to wrecks through trauma, and even though most people usually recover it always leaves scars. Other sad souls turn to drink or drugs to escape the pain, and end up in a gutter somewhere. The only thing you gain from an event like this is not to do it again - but you'd be surprised how some women go back for more of the same!
It's possible it's left you distrusting of almost any man now, which is sad, as there are some very decent men around. But when you've been brutalised like you've been (albeit emotionally and financially) it must leave you feeling wary and suspicious of other men.
I actually know of other women who have lost all their money in a similar situation as yours. One woman has lost in the region of £100k, and that's not including about 10 years of her life..........
This is slightly going away from the topic, but I've noticed how some women seem to accept what's happened to them in a very
laissez faire kind of way - which always staggers me! Perhaps they were expecting it - or perhaps their self-esteem is at such a low they almost feel they deserved being treated like a fool. And it isn't just when the man absconds with all her life-savings, I've noticed it when a man has done a runner after getting his passport - some of the women don't actually seem that heartbroken or angry - and I wonder if they ever really loved that man at all? I'm sure some women just want any man they can 'love' and a man to love them back, but deep down they know it's all fake really, which is why they're not as crestfallen as you'd expect when the man finally flees. The whole relationship haas been one big sham from the very beginning, and deep down they've always known it. But that's a separate topic..........
Anyway, I'm glad you've had the guts to speak up and warn other women about this man - he really needs to be stopped! And I do hope you somehow manage to get your property back from him one day. I suppose one way of looking at it is to think how much worse it could have been had he strung you along for another five years......that could of cost you another £20k or so - and five more wasted years of your life. So in some ways you can be thankful for discovering his true colours sooner rather than later!
I must come and have a looksie at this site...........
Take care, and please continue to post on the site - your experience is invaluable for other women.
Strawbs
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Nice to have you join up!!!
