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I think I have may have found one of the answers as to why Turkish Askims vanish into thin air! According to a report in the DM, wild sex can give you total memory loss - though they're saying it usually only lasts for 24 hours - but as they've not completed many trials yet it's possible wild sex amnesia could last longer! It tends to affect older people more (and lots of askims do look older than their years!) so this could account for all those askims who just stop texting their 'angels' - or could even account for why they lose their phones in the first place!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2048278/Mind-blowing-sex-warning-Over-exertion-sheets-wipe-memory.html
So there we have it : askim didn't phone his sweetheart because they had mind-blowing sex and he forgot all about it!
Of course, this doesn't exonerate each and every love rat. Oh no. Some of them are very crafty and remember very well that they humped Bendy Bus Bertha or Lardbucket Linzee - they just don't want to accept it - and they don't want to be reminded. Other askims (the local village idiots) learn enough to be able to keep their bonkers under the radar by not being able to communicate in English, anyway.
Makes for an interesting read.
Strawbs
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2048278/Mind-blowing-sex-warning-Over-exertion-sheets-wipe-memory.html
So there we have it : askim didn't phone his sweetheart because they had mind-blowing sex and he forgot all about it!
Of course, this doesn't exonerate each and every love rat. Oh no. Some of them are very crafty and remember very well that they humped Bendy Bus Bertha or Lardbucket Linzee - they just don't want to accept it - and they don't want to be reminded. Other askims (the local village idiots) learn enough to be able to keep their bonkers under the radar by not being able to communicate in English, anyway.
Makes for an interesting read.
Strawbs
what a lot of blxxxxxxxx 
I get such a gas reading some of the things you come out with!