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    TWATS TWATS TWATS

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    TWATS TWATS TWATS

    Post  Admin on Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:20 pm

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    Friday, 03-11-11 12:18
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    Hi Porkchop,

    I thought I'd clear up the confusion for you - I remember you asking me about the group TWATS before.

    TWATS was actually called Turkey Without Any Trimmings, and was set up on the old MSN groups by two elderly women, Seftali and Elli. They never meant it to be called TWATS - I don't think it occurred to them that abbreviating the name Turkey Without Any Trimmings would be TWAT. I very casually mentioned it when Seftali was having some kind of spasm, and from then on she never ever forgave me. She made out she did, but I think the humiliation of being an official TWAT member (indeed - MANAGER!) never quite left her.

    Both Seftali and Elli were the archetypal old women you see who've lost their marbles and still think they're about 18. Seftali, in particular, perfected her delusion on a scale too overwhelming to comprehend. She was, what, about 60? 65? Elli was about mid 70's. Every year they would make their pilgrimage to Turkey (usually Marmaris) and go boy hunting!

    Amongst all those thousands of young, pretty teenagers and 20-somethings, both Seftali and Ellie would doll themselves up to the nines and go and shimmy on down to Bar Street where they'd shake their arthritic hips and knee implants. They actually convinced themselves that these young men of about 17 really found them desirable. Their behaviour was actually a fascinating insight into the tacky side of barking British OAP's who wanted to make a provocative statement about Great-Grannies Going Mad. On their return from their frequent trips Marmaris Seftali would excitedly post up about their latest exploits and conquests (most of which went on in her head) and say how they'd had to fight all these young, handsome 20-year-olds off, and how men simply drooled over them as they walked along Bar Street.

    Occasionally, Seftali would hint that she'd 'ha ha, had a little fling, meant nothing to me, wink wink' and would say how she always made sure she carried out safe sex "you don't know where these dirty buggers have been" but safe sex for her or Ellie would have meant having a metal frame around the bed too.

    Seftali was always very spiteful about other women, and hated them with a passion. She was jealous of youth, beauty and happy relationships. To pass her lonely hours she would talk to Turkish men on-line, making out to them she was a young, beautiful woman. Of course, the men were only after visas, money, marriage, passports - or cheap sex - so it was pointless her making out she was someone she wasn't. The men couldn't have cared less what she looked like. But I think it excited her a little bit to make out she was all pretty and young; just the thought that these men believed she was gorgeous gave her great big whopping thrill. I suppose her thoughts were "why should OAP's turn into crinkly old crumblies and get pushed into the background - or worse - an Old Folk's Home - when I can go to Marm, paint the town red - and get a fumble just for the price of a pair of trainers!"

    I suppose now they're wandering around on their zither frames in the Old Folk's Home regaling all the deaf residents with their stories of all the men who were madly in love with them. I can see it now:

    Seftali standing there with her head nodding side to side uncontrollably, and a glazed look in her eyes shouting to Ellie, saying:

    "I got ALL the men in Marmaris didn't I, Ellie? DIDN'T I?!"

    Then Ellie, sat back in her recliner with her feet on a stool would reply:

    "Oooh yes, Seftali! Yes, Seftali had ALL the men after her in Marmaris. She did you know!"

    Then as all the residents in the day-room adjust their hearing aids and try hard to listen to this fascinating story, Seftali gets all over-excited and shakily pushes her bottom denture back in her mouth after it partly edges out her mouth when she spits with excitement; then composing herself and trying to pout all provocatively she continues:

    " Yes, the Turkish men couldn't get enough of me! They still want me now you know! Don't they Ellie? ELLIE?"

    Ellie: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Strawbs





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    Adryath.turkishlove #1 [url] [-]

    Posts: 58
    Friday, 03-11-11 23:03
    Didn't they also run a site for "mature women" as well???

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    strawberryxxx #2 [url] [-]

    Posts: 2895
    Saturday, 03-12-11 01:13
    Mature, Adryath?

    The only thing mature about them was their Gorgonzola veiny-looking legs! Those two actually immatured with age!

    There was, however, another site called Mature Women of Turkish Men. They weren't mature, either - they were just all elderly.

    The woman who run Matures had the most filthiest vocabulary you've ever heard. She was so rough she would make a dirty old tramp look posh and refined. She had dyed black hair to hide the white, and had about 10 screws loose, too. She sold her house in England for about £70k and went off to Turkey as soon as her money cane through. I think she got through it in about 4 months? She probably gave it all away to her smelly pot-bellied Turk. He was like that, cos she said so (and I'm sure I actually saw them together when I lived out in Fethiye).

    She used to fly into crazy rages (for no reason at all) and she obviously has severe issues. She made lots of threatening posts to people (people who had never even said anything to her) and I'll never forget her posting up when she retired to Fethiye, and telling everyone that she and her fat pot-bellied Turk had split up - but she'd made sure he left her with a 'well-chewed cock'!!! UGH UGH UGH!

    Disgusting woman!

    Oh, and she apparently upset an English woman who'd been living in Fethiye for a good few years, and had made wicked false allegations to neighbours that this woman was prostitute!

    My God, she was a disgusting woman!

    Strawbs


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    Meowcat #3 [url] [-]

    Posts: 361
    Saturday, 03-12-11 09:43
    That twat couple sound fab!!!I bet they made great annimation for holidaymakers I thinkI saw them...they def sound like a couple I saw in Marm few years ago..dripping in gold and flashing it off to all the lads but had on Matalan gear ... was Matalan I know. Teetered along hobbling in little steps on plastic stilltos...they looked so funny!!. One was normal size but the other one was well chunky....she had that fat pop belly old ladies get...they was drunk at 10 in the morning and shouting out to all the lads and laughing really loudly ..I felt ashamed to be a Brit. They had the pizz taken out of them rotten and was the laughing stock of the strip every night and day. Never saw them go off with any lads....they used to go back to their digs by themselves. I'm gonna see if I have a pic somewhere..I took a couple of them when they staggered past us..They seemed a right old scream but I kinda felt sorry for them in a way.

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    Adryath.turkishlove #4 [url] [-]

    Posts: 58
    Saturday, 03-12-11 22:19
    I get confused with all these odd old women running different sites

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    zeynep49 #5 [url] [-]

    Posts: 96
    Sunday, 03-13-11 00:18
    Poor old dears so they ended up in a nursing home am womdering are they still alive but am sure that they have plenty replacements in Marmaris .xx

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    strawberryxxx #6 [url] [-]

    Posts: 2895
    Sunday, 03-13-11 12:21
    Hi Zeynap,

    Oh I don't know if they've popped their clogs yet, but Seftali was a great believer in the afterlife - so watch out! She'd be floating around somewhere keeping a beady eye on everyone, and would be outraged if she caught you laughing at her! She actually fancied herself as a bit of 21st century witch, and she believed she had magic powers. I used to be bursting to ask her why her spells never worked and brought her a handsome, rich, young prince, but I didn't want to burst her little bubble. Aaw. On a couple of occasions she said she actually saw Ellie's dear old mother sat in a chair by the fireplace - and she'd been dead about 20 years. She couldn't wait to tell me the details in her chat-room, and just to make sure I believed her, as she recounted the incidents she kept prompting Ellie for confirmation.

    'Didn't I, Ellie? Soon as I walked into your lounge for the very first time I turned and said to you "Who's that woman sat in the chair?"


    'Yes Sef, you did! You said you saw a woman sat in the chair by the fireplace and when you described her to me I knew straight away it was my Mum!'


    'I even said what she was wearing, Ellie, didn't I? And you told me that's just the sort of thing she liked to wear'


    'Yes, Sef. You did! Sef has really special powers you know!'



    So watch out, Zeynap, if our old dears Seftail and Ellie and now our dearly departed - Seftaili may do mischievous things to you from down below!








    Strawbs!


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    ruby #7 [url] [-]

    Posts: 94
    Sunday, 03-13-11 22:06
    If our geriatric Mandy had special powers, she would have predicted my visit telling her what a whore she is. Stupid bitch, senile is a more appropriate word to describe her, special powers my arse.

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    electradiva.turkishlove #8 [url] [-]

    Posts: 257
    Sunday, 03-13-11 22:11



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    zeynep49 #9 [url] [-]

    Posts: 96
    Sunday, 03-13-11 22:33
    Ha Ha am not easily scared by the living or departed no matter where they float .xx

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    strawberryxxx #10 [url] [-]

    Posts: 2895
    Monday, 03-14-11 12:42
    Well, I don't want to scare anyone, but I've a feeling she's still floating around in cyber space - probably whispering

    She used to get HUGE rages - I remember that! No wonder her husband legged it!!!!

    Strawbs



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    Re: TWATS TWATS TWATS

    Post  Admin on Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:21 pm

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    Monday, 03-14-11 15:29
    Hehehehehe seftali woman sounds the woman I met on the plane!Should I put her picture up?

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    strawberryxxx #12 [url] [-]

    Posts: 2895
    Monday, 03-14-11 21:44
    Heavens, NO! You can PM it, though!

    Strawbs



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    Re: TWATS TWATS TWATS

    Post  Admin on Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:13 pm

    Talking of Top Of The Flops I think Seftali deserves a mention! Seftali and old bird Ellie. I was going to include them in Top Of The Flops, but they've never really had a relationship with a rat - not a real rat relationship. Except for shitstain - although he sounded just kinky.

    So, I wonder what became of Seftali and Ellie? I know they got very friendly with the grotesque bungalow freak, and as that misfit likes to surround herself with 80-year-olds they'd fit in very well with her. They could all go out on the pull together couldn't they?!

    Of course, old Seftali probably has Alzheimer's now, which does have it benefits - everything will seem new to her! She's probably now got a permanent confused, faraway look on her face, as though she's never heard the words BIG COCK in her life - that's because her brain's been rotted by years of nauseating sick thoughts, and like some clapped out computer, all that fires out of its memory is a small hissing whirring sound on a flickering blank screen.

    I suppose that despite the fully blown dementia Seftali will want Ellie to accompany her to their old haunts in Marm and Icmeler. That's providing Sleazy Jet allow the two crumblies on the plane - old folk like that are never really welcome on flights. Nothing worse than having an old crumblie pop their clogs on a longish flight! Puts you off your inflight meal! I bet even the hotels in Marmaris will balk at the prospect of that pair staying - especially now the Mayor wants Marmaris to go upmarket!

    But Dalaman may allow the pair to pass through, as long as they promise to behave themselves. But I bet the Mayor of Marmaris will be upset when the coach turns up and those two hobble off on their crutches. I bet first thing they'll do is go down to the harbourside and study all the boys strolling past. Old Setali will then clamber out of her mobily scooter, make a beeline for the youngest looking boy approaching her and then fiddle pointlessly at his groin area, looking for his zip.

    Or they might just scooter up to Bar Street straight after breakfast of Complan, unfold a couple of deck chairs and sit there all day long, reminiscing about Ali from the Loveboat who had a dick the size of an aubergine and demanding more warm white wine from every passing waiter on his way to work, as they slowly drench their nappies with Pissing Themselves Laughing.

    Eeeeew...I've put myself off my lunch! Neutral

    Strawbs
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    Turkishheartdrop

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    Re: TWATS TWATS TWATS

    Post  Turkishheartdrop on Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:40 pm

    Has anyone got a picture of this couple? They sound hiddeous. Shocked

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