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    Liverpool Hurricane Appeal


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    Liverpool Hurricane Appeal Empty Liverpool Hurricane Appeal

    Post  ruby on Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:45 am

    Liverpool Hurricane Appeal

    A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and an earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit Liverpool in the early hours of Tuesday with its epicentre in The Wirral. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "fu-kinelll". Shocked

    The hurricane decimated the area causing almost £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Marmaris and Altinkum were damaged beyond repair. Suspect Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Giros arrived.

    Liverpool FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Liverpool. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning." Evil or Very Mad

    Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.

    The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Special Brew to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Ratners and Bone China from the Pound shop.


    This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
    Fila or Burberry baseball caps
    Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
    Shell suits (female)
    White stilettos
    White sport socks
    Rockport boots
    Any other items usually sold in Primark.

    Food parcels may be harder to come by but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include:
    Microwave meals
    Tins of baked beans
    Ice cream
    Cans of Special Brew.

    22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
    £2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of nine
    £5 buys fags and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.


    Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop and were worried she had been badly cut...
    "Where are you bleeding from?" they asked,
    "From the Toxteth" said the girl, wot's that gotta do wi yow?"

    Please don't forward this to anyone living in Liverpool - oh, sod it, they won't be able to read it, anyway.
    lol! lol! lol!

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    Liverpool Hurricane Appeal Empty Re: Liverpool Hurricane Appeal

    Post  Turkishheartdrop on Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:39 pm

    love it.....LOL.....you just crack me up Rubes....I have missed you more that I knew....

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