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    Mrs Turtle has been on the cooking sherry

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    Mrs Turtle has been on the cooking sherry

    Post  Guest on Mon Jun 20, 2011 11:16 am

    I have a scan on TL to see the most ridiculous post by Mrs Turtle entitled 'Understanding'. Now I understand that she has mentioned in a previous post "what's for you won't pass you by" , is this some sort of new age terminology or did that eclipse of the full moon have a detri(mental) affect on her? clown

    I must admit I did wonder if Mr Turtle would make a swift dive the night of the eclipse as those of us with a brain realise that the moon governs the movement of the sea, and Turtle must be absolutely gagging to join his fellow arkadas in the Karadeniz insallah.

    Now back to the thread 'Understanding', I understand you have a large appetite, but did you swallow one of those 365 days of the year books full of meaningless quotes that only the sad and desparing clutch like to a lifeline and are about as useful as rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic? Just to confirm what a load of bullshit you have wrote, the number one nutter has had to put in her numpty opinion by adding that 'for every finger pointed out, there are three pointed back'. Well JW (dog murderer and child hater) for your information it depends on how many fingers are pointed out. As you failed to quantify the amount of finger/s pointing out, how miss fxxking know nothing can you clarify that there will be three fingers pointed back? In any event Dog Killer, ask Flabby about the number 31 with his fingers and thumb as I am sure he will be doing that rather than risk getting you pregnant.

    As for you Mrs Turtle, stick to Cream Buns on a Sunday lunchtime, the arts and literature are not subjects which you of all people excel at. Try to encourage Mr Turtle to eat as he looks extremely malnurished and I think it wont be too long before he bails ship, I have to say that a lot of 'couples' on TL are the most strangest looking people I have ever come across. 'And starring tonight on the Little and Large Show are Mr and Mrs Turtle, Mr cyclops and Mrs Bouffant, Mr and Mrs Whisperer, Mr and Mrs Lola Doesnt Get It, and the prize question is 'who gets on top of who'? Bloody hell, know wonder back injuries remain the number one disability, but then thats a good excuse to claim state benefits.

    Ruby




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    Re: Mrs Turtle has been on the cooking sherry

    Post  Admin on Mon Jun 20, 2011 12:39 pm

    Haha! Oh, Mrs Turtle is absolutely hysterical! She is SO thick - in both brain and girth. She is the warped one who asked me for help to compose her a begging letter (hard up - yup!) to the consulate to bring the turtle over. When I read her first attempt (which I still have! tongue ) I nearly fell off my chair laughing! She is so thick! She started her lettr off " I hereby declare......" Jesus - that Scot has an IQ of a Haggis! rabbit Honestly, she is really, really thick. Unbelievable.

    I think that's why the scrawny little turtle - who had been after a visa for a whole TEN YEARS - found her so easy to bamboozle. He didn't have much success with any other women (no bloody wonder! lol) so he resorted to humping that giant beached whale. She is bloody HUGE! A great big fat, thick thing! What makes me laugh about her is, she begged me to help her - and as soon as I did she waddled off over to the fruitbats (Jan, Bungalow, Sooo, Delimersin, Rachel etc..) and started bitching about me! Work THAT one out if you will! Suspect

    The FUNNIEST part of her latest post is, besides her being as thick as dog poo - she is deluded too! affraid Haha! As if ANYONE on Planet Earth could be jealous of her!! Haha! She's an uneducated and very poor woman living in a tenament block in a drab, grey shitty slum-part of Scotland - she lives hand to mouth - she's been hit by the thick stick - and is married to a weedy ugly turtle who is also poor, and is only using her to get ILR! For someone in her mid 40's and with not a BEAN to her name - and a body 5 times the size it should be - I can't see HOW she could think ANYONE would be jealous of that! lol

    That woman has not got ONE attribute. Not one. She's more deluded than I thought! I would REALLY love her to say why she thinks ANYONE could be jealous of her! Let her tell us ONE thing she's got that any of us would want! lol! Who would want to be her FFS?! A grossly fat, middle-aged, rough, thick, uneducated, unwordly, poor underclass woman who rents a dump in a rough area - and is being used by an ugly, bald, weedy, penniless turtle! Yeah - we're all jealous of that!! Laughing

    Besides all THOSE disadvantages - she's NUTS too! Oh, and horrible with it! SHE is the JEALOUS one - and that's why she kicked her fat ugly boot in all the time - because she's riddled with jealousy herself! Just HOW deluded are these women?!

    As for the weird and disturbed JW - she needs to point those come-hither fingers in the right direction! If she did she'd find she'd stab herself in the eye over and over again. It might clear all the shit from her eyes if she did. She's full of shit - so much so - she's the only person I know who needs to take X-lax to Turkey! I suppose she's worried about her bowels being full on her honeymoon - to her that would be like a bride having her period on her wedding night. Though having said that, I doubt Flabby will bother to visit her on the wedding night - he didn't even go round for a cuppa and a fumble after the Yankee farce! Keen - not!

    Strawbs

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    Re: Mrs Turtle has been on the cooking sherry

    Post  Guest on Mon Jun 20, 2011 7:28 pm

    Hi Strawbs

    When you quoted 'ugly, bald, weedy, penniless turtle', for a moment I thought it read penisless turtle Razz

    Ruby

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    Re: Mrs Turtle has been on the cooking sherry

    Post  Admin on Mon Jun 20, 2011 7:42 pm

    Actually, Ruby, there may well be some truth in that! A man's penis always shrinks when he's confronted by danger - and I bet when he's confronted by all those giant rolls of fat and flab waddling towards him his penis drawers itself inside his body. A bit like a turtle pulls its head back under its shell when it spots something hazardous!

    Strawbs

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