Turkish Chatter

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Turkish Chatter

Discussion group for all women with Turkish men in their lives


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    update number 2

    hayleyvemehmet
    hayleyvemehmet


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    Post  hayleyvemehmet Sun May 20, 2012 8:26 am

    soooo we had been in turkey 3 days when the illness took over Sad mother in law who has asthma went down with a throat infection and was in bed.sister in law then went down with it next day and they all started dropping like flies.it was like a ghost town with everyone in bed including my hubby :/ i had had something like it before i went out and im thinking please not again,sure enough i went down with it too.baby seemed fine at this stage and we all went round to another sister in laws for dinner,she had cooked little mans favourite which he tucked into.i get woken at 1am by him throwing it all up,covered everything including me.not helped by the fact he was teething his big fangs and cut three teeth while we were there,not a happy little man i can tell you.we plodded on and decided to go to the beach next day as he seemed fine,mother in law wanted to come and packed up the barbeque and everything possible needed.we even had the tea pots lol but it was lovely.the area surrounding the beach was rotten,they are starting to clean it up ready for opening but to be honest its a task as there were nappies and razors etc.seems to have come from round the corner according to hubby (syria)we were on the other side to syria but literally round the corner ( phone said welcome to syria)it kind of spoiled it but little man played in the water and had fun.mother in law had got fed up as she wanted to have the bbq in another place and hubby flipped saying it was a s... hole :)we got there in the end and i have a lovely photo of her asleep on the beach..... little man is very clumsy and this leads to the next drama.we all decided to visit sister in law for dinner,we all packed things up and one of hubbys cousins who had become glued to little man and carted him about everywhere went ahead and put him in the drivers seat to play like he had done all week.he is stood next to the van talking to father in law and hubby and i walked down and loaded the pushchair in etc when we heard the baby screaming.he was flat on his face on the floor,he had fallen out of the van but no one had seen how.he didnt have any cuts etc and calmed dowm when i cuddled him,so we carried on.15 mins later i looked at him and thought he looks weird and told hubby i wasnt happy about it.he then throws up all down me and started to go floppy and fall asleep.we then turn around and head to the nearest hospital where he throws up again and they sent us to get him brain scanned as he had fallen on concrete and no one knew how etc.we had to go to another hospital as they didnt have the scanner and omg what a horrible place.they would not treat him untill we agreed to pay,so basically if you dont have money they would let you suffer.people complain about our nhs but at least they would treat you first then claim, but not there.sister agreed to sign for him etc as i didnt have our passports on us ( like why would we) and he had a scan.luckily he was fine and it was obvious that he had only slipped from the footwell nothing worse.but for that moment i just wanted to come home and later when hubby and i were talking he admitted he wanted to come home too.he admitted he sees this as home and he wouldnt hurt his mother by telling her but he sees his life as here ( shocked me to be honest )soooo thats my update.more tomorrow x
    Guveclover
    Guveclover


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    Post  Guveclover Sun May 20, 2012 9:43 am

    Oh dear, what a terrible business Hayley!! The main thing is your little boy is OK. You can cope with normal everyday general illnesses, like sickness bugs and coughs and colds but head injuries, trips to hospital and brain scans is something of a different magnitude altogether. I can imagine that your stress levels were going through the roof - I know mine would have been!! And I also know that it would have been bad enough if it'd happened at home - let alone in a foreign country where the medical services are extremely questionable to say the very least about it. I'm glad that it all turned out to be OK in the end.

    We have never stayed with family when we've visited Turkey. My parents in law have both passed away now sadly but even when they were alive we always booked into a hotel and just visited them. Luckily, they lived very near Altinkum so it was easy to stay there or in Kusadasi and still be close enough to visit frequently while having the chance to still enjoy a holiday on our own too. They always seemed to be fine with it. I could never be doing with the sleeping arrangements, uncomfy "beds" (although not what I'd recognise as a bed lol!) and those toilets!! We could still enjoy all their wonderful hospitality and food by just visiting. Now his parents have passed away, Mr Guvecover has little interest in visiting his remaining relatives in Turkey, which suits me to be fair.

    Like your husband Hayley, Mr Guveclover also always says that he wouldn't want to live in Turkey. He totally recognises that this is the best place to bring up our son, and he feels very lucky that he is able to bring up his child outside of Turkey. If he'd married a Turkish woman he'd have had no choice in the matter as he'd have been stuck there. I suppose he wouldn't have known any different though as he'd have had nothing to compare it to. Now he has, he'll happily tell you he knows where he's better off! I wouldn't even want to move there with a sizeable lottery win under my belt!

    I would never in this life, or the next, agree to live in Turkey. As I always say, I wouldn't be prepared to compromise on our living standards and opportunities as a family and most especially our child's education and health, for the sake of some more sun and a bit of ripe fruit and veg.

    Those who rave about it can keep it as far as I'm concerned.

    Anyway, welcome back Hayley - I bet you're finally glad to be home safe and sound!
    hayleyvemehmet
    hayleyvemehmet


    Posts : 246
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    Post  hayleyvemehmet Mon May 21, 2012 7:23 am

    thanks judith,i have to say i am really happy to be home now,we had a lovely time in lots of other ways and it was so important to meet the family with little man.last time i went it was strained as m.i.l wasnt happy about us being together,but now we have got the baby she has completely changed and we actually had a really good laugh together ( outside of the dramas ) this time.Next time we go out we have asked them to meet us in bodrum as all my children and mum will be going,and its a nice place for them to meet up with us.it has given the sister an excuse to enjoy a holiday too,she is looking forward to seeing where we met etc.hubby had upset his dad because he said he wasnt going to register little man for a kimlik,as he doesnt want him to have to do national service for a country he isnt living in.his dad didnt agree and said its a shame he wont do it,but his mum actually agreed with us which surprised me.my husbands attitude is that this is his only child and why would he put him through that when he doesnt have to.when little man was born he did want to but changed his mind after talking to some other guys here.i agree with you even if i had a massive lottery win i wouldnt live there full time,i would enjoy holidays but thats it.im lucky my husband settled so well and agrees that the education etc here is much better for our son for his future. x
    SozzledSally
    SozzledSally


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    Post  SozzledSally Tue May 22, 2012 12:33 am

    Hayley OMG, that must of been so terrible when your boy hit his head and went all floppy and started being sick, you could never be in a more worse place than where you was when that happened! What a Face thank god he was okay and it was not serious, I would hate to get really ill out there, sorry but its true Neutral
    Thank god he is okay tho and its nice your hubby thinks of you and england as his real home now cheers

    Sal x
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    Admin
    Admin


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    Post  Admin Wed May 23, 2012 11:39 am

    Hi Hayley,

    I'm so sorry to hear how you all became ill on your trip - how rotten for you all! Sad

    But the most horrifying part is when your little boy went all floppy and started vomiting after falling on the concrete!! That must have been absolutely terrifying!! And then to have such shabby and appalling treatment at the hospital must have filled you with even more terror! If a hospital is not prepared to examine and treat a potentially dangerously ill child, it makes you wonder what sort of people work in those hospitals....for goodness sake, surely the payment/insurance can be sorted out after treatment?! In your son's case he was showing signs of possible brain injury - and as we all know - that can be fatal! How can those doctors/nurses refuse to treat him??????It beggars belief - it really does!

    But thank God your little boy was OK - it still must have been a terrifying time, though!

    I agree with you about the kimlik. I can't see the point for any half Turkish/English child born and bred in the UK to serve in the Turkish army when it's completely unnecessary! What would be the point???? In fact, it could hamper his education over here if he decided to go to university, for example, or landed himself a really good job with great prospects. Imagine having to traipse over to Turkey (simply because his father is Turkish) be parted from all his family/friends/home/job/uni/whatever......without possibly understanding hardly any Turkish - and having to spend a year or more training in the Turkish army - only to return to England again! It's ridiculous! It's a total waste of a year!

    Anyway, you're very lucky in that your husband sounds like a very reasonable and understanding man, and who's happy to go along with your wishes too. Some women seem to allow their Turkish husbands to take over their free will and personality, and let their husbands make all the decisions - whether they're good or bad ones.

    Thank your lucky stars you have a nice and understanding husband! You're a very lucky lady - but I'm sure he's a very lucky man, too, having you for a wife! Smile

    Strawbs


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