Turkish Chatter

Discussion group for all women with Turkish men in their lives


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    Barbarababe

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    Hello Ladies

    Post  Barbarababe on Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:57 pm

    Hello Ladies

    It's been a long time since I last posted on here. I'm afraid I have some very sad news and this was one of the reasons I haven't posted sooner, I didn't feel the time was right to make my announcement. I am still with my chap, we are still a couple but I think I overestimated his feelings for me. I was certain he was about to make a proposal of marriage to me but when I last went over there earlier this month he never mentioned it at all. I don't know if it's a money issue with him, he is struggling I know that, so that could be a reason but I have to admit I was terribly disappointed when he never proposed, so certain was I that he would.

    I left Turkey with a very heavy heart and to make matters worse he didn't escort me to the airport like usual, he just waited with me for the taxi to arrive and helped me into that. He told me he had to go to work earlier than usual and that could be true but he's never done that before and I'm afraid I had a little weep to myself all the way to the airport. He did sent me a text message which was a great relief while I was in the airport and we are still in contact now I'm home but to say I'm disappointed is an understatement.

    I thought I should share this news with you all as you deserve to know.

    I hope you girls are all having a marvellous time and please don't worry about me, I'm staying positive and hope beyond hope this isn't a sign that he's cooling off. Keep your fingers crossed for me girls.

    Babs

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    Pollypecker

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    Re: Hello Ladies

    Post  Pollypecker on Thu Sep 22, 2011 12:23 am

    Aw sorry to hear that, I hope it all is okay and nothings wrong with him, they can have funny ways sometimes Babs, dont worry pet. I love you got my fingers crossed for you x

    Pol
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    SozzledSally

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    Re: Hello Ladies

    Post  SozzledSally on Thu Sep 22, 2011 1:09 am

    I was thinking about you and wondering what was happening Babs. I am sorry you feel worried and upset but it might not be anything, he could have a problem going on and its nothing to do with whats going on between you and him I love you Try to keep chipper and Ive got me fingers double crossed for you Smile SENDING YOU HUGS xxxxx

    Sal
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    Maria

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    Join date : 2011-06-16

    Re: Hello Ladies

    Post  Maria on Thu Sep 22, 2011 7:43 am

    Babs you think about yourself and stop thinking too much about your fella Sad what you need more is some thinking time coz if this is starting now its not a good outlook and could be the start of a plan his got, he will be all nice again but this is the start of it sounds to me, you mark my words. I hate to put fear inside of you but it looks like the start of the hit to me pale I hope its not but I think it sounds like it Sad

    Maria

    Admin
    Admin

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    Re: Hello Ladies

    Post  Admin on Thu Sep 22, 2011 6:47 pm

    Hi Babs,

    Oh, I shouldn't worry too much about it if I were you - you really need to stop fretting so much and to let yourself loose a bit. Life is for living and having fun, and you sound like you have a lovely time when you go over to see him, so that's all that matters really. I know your separations are difficult for you, but you seem to keep an active social life when you're back home, and in many ways I think you have the perfect set-up! I'm being serious.

    You have this nice chap you can go and see in Turkey as and when, and you don't have to wash his socks or anything mundane like that - instead you can go out with your friends and do all the other things you like to do while you're not with him - so I think you've get it pretty cushy!

    In fact, if he does propose to you I'd seriously consider turning him down. A lot of women get married to their Turkish partners simply because he needs a visa for the UK (or the US) and the women do it in the belief it will make their relationship easier as they'll be together all the time. But deep down they know it's not a marriage of romance and love - not really. It's a marriage of convenienece - even if they do think they love the man - they're still marrying him just so he can come to the UK. It's not the stuff of dreams is it?

    And when many of these men do get here they spend so much time away from home, they probably see less of them here than they did back in Turkey!

    Look on the bright side of things, Babs, you've got the best of both worlds.

    Strawbs
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    Barbarababe

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    Re: Hello Ladies

    Post  Barbarababe on Thu Sep 22, 2011 10:28 pm

    Hello Ladies

    Thank you all for your kind responses they mean so much to me. I'm at a loss for words, I just don't know what to say, my chap didn't call me last night and each time I tried to call him I couldn't get through. I shudder to think the worst. I can't understand what's happened, I've done nothing wrong. I think perhaps he's worried about finances, he does hide things from me I'm sure of that. I'm going to send him another email right this moment and I'll keep you all updated with what's going on.

    I don't think it's anything I've done, I think he's been working so hard all summer and is overloaded with tiredness and stress which probably explains his grumpy behaviour this time. I've never seen him like this before, I almost started to wonder if he was ill, he was most odd and it unsettled me I can tell you.

    I am going to insist he comes clean and tells me what's playing on his mind, I know there's something going on. Strawbs than you for your advice, I know you mean well but my future lies with my chap and I want to spend as much time with him as I possibly can. I would love nothing more than to wash his socks and clothes and take care of him and cook for him, it would be my dream come true. We will just have to wait and see but wish me luck,I think I'm going to need it.

    Take care all.

    Babs
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    Turkishheartdrop

    Posts : 1065
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    Join date : 2011-06-06
    Age : 40
    Location : Huddersfield

    Re: Hello Ladies

    Post  Turkishheartdrop on Thu Sep 22, 2011 10:36 pm

    Babs dont be surprised if he sks you for money......prepare yourself now...sorry if you feel upset but I think this is a plan on brew....be careful sweetie....
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    ruby

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    Re: Hello Ladies

    Post  ruby on Mon Sep 26, 2011 8:10 am

    Hello Babs

    As you know I have been reading your posts regarding your 'chap' and to put it bluntly and using the terminology that you and your mother would use, your chap sounds rather like a cad.

    You deserve so much better than him and how dare he treat you in such a disrespectful manner when you have travelled a round trip of 4,000 miles to see him at least two times this year to my knowledge. Furthermore, you have had a recent leg injury, yet you still made the trip to see this cad.

    This chap is after your money and/or a UK visa. I totally agree with THD his next ploy will be to ask you for money, his mood is probably going to used as an excuse that he is worried about money (as you have already mentioned in your post) and he will very soon hook you in like a fish out of the sea and manipulate you into believing whatever crap he comes out with, the usual patter is 'my mother/father/auntie needs money for operation' etc etc.

    I do recall you enquiring about buying a property in Turkey. I do hope you have not taken this step as maintaining a property abroad is very hard work. Furthermore, dont ever put the deeds to the property (Tapu) in your chap's name as you will never get the house back.

    I know what I have wrote is not what you want to hear, but my advice will save you a lot of heartache in the future.

    Ruby

    Admin
    Admin

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    Re: Hello Ladies

    Post  Admin on Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:00 am

    Hi Babs,

    I do agree with Ruby and THD, this sounds like he's plucking up courage to ask you for a 'loan'. Didn't you once say his parent were quite poor? I think you did. If he does ask you for money you have to tell him that you're not the Bank of Barbara and cannot possibly lend him a penny.

    Let us know what his problem is, and try not to upset yourself. I told you before, you have it good at the moment. You can go and se him when you please and have your little excitement with him, and you don't give him money or gifts. And you also have a nice life over her without him - so you really do have the best of both worlds! drunken

    Strawbs
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    Maria

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    Re: Hello Ladies

    Post  Maria on Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:36 pm

    Babs try to have think about what we said,it is right and ut sound slike hes up to no good,hate to say but its true.Stay strong and you will meet prince charming one day again I love you

    Maria

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